Today I heard that the government of Zimbabwe has displaced 700, 000 of its poor as a retaliation to them voting for opposition. The poorer people are, the easier they are to control. This is why you shouldn't send them money. It goes straight into the pockets of the authorities who see the rest of the country as cockroaches. Fuck the fucking fuckers. In honour of senseless things, I will complete this moronic survey while I eat my veggie soup.


F I R S T S

First best friend: my mommy
First funeral: grandaddy
First pet: China, the fluffy sled dog
First piercing/tattoo: ears, then moon on ankle

L A S T S

Last car ride: coming home from mcdonald's with cam
Last good cry: can't remember but I was probably piss drunk
Last movie seen: DEVIL'S REJECTS!! YEAH BABY!!
Last beverage drank: coffee-flavoured milk
Last food consumed: veggie soup
Last phone call: probably josh telling me about charlie and the chocolate factory
Last time showered: sometime yesterday, I'm real smelly now from washing the dog
Last shoes worn: my fantastic rinestone sandals
Last item bought: a bra
Last annoyance: having to work today
Last time wanting to die: oh it happens on occasion. what kind of teen would I be if it didn't?

S P E C I F I C S

What kind of shampoo do you use?: head n' shoulders for those flakes
What are you most scared of ?: your mom's ass getting any bigger
What are you listening to right now?: rockin in the free world
Where do you want to get married?: getting married is for lame-os
Where do you want to live?: the jungles of borneo

F A V O R I T E S

Color(s): black, red, olive green, ya know
Food: cheese burgers
Boy name: Leroy
Girl name: Bronwen, everyone should be named Bronwen
Subjects in school: english, anthro, philosophy
Abbreviation: that's a toughie, I guess anthro. is pretty neat. you fucker.
Animals: puppy dogs
Sports: soccer is really the only sport
Cologne: anything but that AXE or TAG shit. I would only tackle a guy wearing that in order to bash his face in or hose him down.
Perfume: sandalwood

H A V E Y O U E V E R

Given anyone a bath?: hehe, yeah. he really couldn't bathe himself because he had alcohol poisoning.
Bungee jumped?: in my dreams
Skinny dipped? why yes. it's really the only way to swim.
Ever been in love?: I do believe so.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yes, but then I thought that my brother had broken my leg.
Cried when someone died?: well yeah.
Been rejected?: too many times.
Rejected someone?: I have a hard time doing it but sometimes you must.
Done something you regret?: yeah, that fucking tattoo. I should have gotten it done professionally.

L A S T P E R S O N

Hugged: mum
Kissed: cam
You IMed: none today
IMed you: none... *sniffle*
Called you: josh
You called: cam
Bought you flowers: no one's ever bought my flowers, and I'm ok with that.
Kill: Myself, at work.
Slap: Not sure.

W H I C H I S B E T T E R

Coke or Pepsi: they're the same for fuck's sake.
Flowers or candy: depends on the flower or the candy in question.
Tall or Short: I like a partner to be at least a little taller than me. I tried liking this philipino guy but it just couldn't happen.

R A N D O M

When i wake up the first thing i think: what the fuck was up with that dream?
All I need is: the occasional drink and sausage rolls.
Love is: an excuse to do stupid shit.
Last person you danced with: cameron, in Mcdonald's briefly.
How many kids do you want to have?: if any, they'll be adopted from China or something. I'm not about to contribute to the population problem.

D O Y O U E V E R

Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Everytime someone honks a horn at me.
Wish you were younger: no. older, yes.

N U M B E R

Of times I have had my heart broken: once I found out Gene the metal machine is married.
Of hearts I have broken: oh dear, not sure about that one. I usually cut off communication.
Of guys I've kissed: to hell if I know
Of girls I've kissed: not enough
Of best friends: so many, you know how fucking popular I am. right???
Of CD's I own: a lot that I shouldn't. mostly burned.
Of scars on body: two. one from falling down a ladder as a child, and one from becoming a blood brother.